German countryside in summer

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the invaders' “language” seemed to consist of just three guttural grunts - “u,” “s” & “a”

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Elbow Man & Dog Boy

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The only three Americans in the crowd who were not morbidly obese

“Wait a minute! You're not Christian Panucci!”

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Bad bad bad bad boys

Totti, Dog Boy & Gila Monster

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Zambrotta checks out the American support before kickoff

Captain Cannavaro & Nesta

“You gonna bust McBride's face, right?”

Christian Panucci where are you?

Buffon frozen in time by new alien overlords

at least he's not wearing pink

DeRossi prepares to be sent off

Luca Toni is a giant

“Remember how we all pussed out against the Czechs?”

Zaccardo, top left, tries to give away a penalty before deciding an own goal is the easier otion

Sucker punch answer to Americans' early pressure. Then it all went pear-shaped.

Who's David Beckham?

Totti, top left, has just made way for Gattuso

Del Piero warns the camera man - “you lookin' at me?”

Massimo Oddo & Del Piero

Alessandro Del Piero displays his sublime skills for porcine Americans at halftime

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We will serve no wine before its time

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American scrub pays homage to DelPo - “I'm not worthy!”

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Del Piero surrounded by German gardeners

German gardener dreams of what might've been had he moved out of his mother's house

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The long walk back to the bench

Del Piero contemplates homicide should Lippi ignore him again

Pirlo, McBride, Donovan, Gattuso

Pirlo, Cannavaro, Donovan, McBride, Gattuso

Iaquinta stands over stricken Perotta whose injury made the final 25 minutes essentially 9v9

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Kasey at bat before denying Del Piero twice with extraordinary saves

Lippi out of sorts & out of focus

Keller not long before denying Del Piero twice in extraordinary fashion

Gattuso & Beasley on acid

Del Piero's magic mesmerizes ref & Reyna

Gattuso resists breaking girly-man Donovan in two

Kasey Keller

Del Piero squares to shoot w/Onyewu typically the last to figure this out

Gives some idea of how far away was my seat

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I was waaaaaayyyyy up there

Claudio whirls into the box

Pirlo starts play while others wrestle or simply stare, static

Goal kick funhouse mirror

Focus on the ball

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Follow through

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Claudio on acid cries “diver” for the one-billionth time

Trash rains down on Pirlo at the corner flag

Assistant Referee rules corner must be taken underwater

Me & Bobby McGee!